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  • cat: [makes a small friendly noise]
  • me: oh my god. ohhhh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. do it again. oh my god.

conansdoyles:

as a gif/graphic maker and someone who speaks english as a second language i am so paranoid that i would make typos in my content that i look up the spellings of like every word ever so like my internet history is just random searches of words like “bob” and like “giraffe”

  • me: he is such a little shit he is literally a piece of trash i cant stand his face
  • friend: so you hate him?
  • me: no hes my favorite character

littletinyboy:

ah yes, a healthy relationship… my ultimate fetish……

  • Me: Heyyyy baby *hugs cat*
  • Cat: *paws me*
  • Cat: *bites me*
  • Cat: *kicks me*
  • Cat: *scratches me*
  • Cat: *runs away immediately*
  • Me:
  • Me: *looks down the bleeding hands*
  • Me: Cats are
  • Me: the best

pricksatmywindow:

i’m terrified of sounding mean on the internet so i always add too many exclamation marks and smiley faces but i think it makes me sound like a primary school teacher

When something bothered me, I didn’t talk with anyone about it. I thought it over all by myself, came to a conclusion, and took action alone. Not that I really felt lonely. I thought that’s just the way things are. Human beings, in the final analysis, have to survive on their own.

(Haruki Murakami)
  • me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
  • them: no
  • me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
  • them: we're not
  • me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this
  • me: *not religious*
  • me: oh my god
  • me: praise the lord
  • me: thank god
  • me: oh dear lord
  • me: jesus christ
  • me: good god